Intent

Jace and I were in conversation yesterday. More conversation of what it takes to keep moving.
Goals, yes we know that. But what about daily living. Really this is the big piece.
I think we all know what to do, or how to follow a plan but overcoming the obstacles that interfere with it is another matter.
I am not struggling. Yes I know but thats how it is.

So I have been looking at that and wondering why.

I have great focus but I do believe its the fact that I am managing to live this with intent.
Awareness is another way of looking at it.
Why intent?  Well I believe before that was the problem.
I would have a program and work the program but I had not incorporated all it would take into my thinking.
This also revolved around my relationship with food. I had a really disfunctional relationship with it.
More black and white thinking.
I saw food and eating it, as bad. I never ate one thing without having a negative thought about it. Food was the enemy. Needless to say that disfunction would break down into overeating.
So I never allowed myself to simply eat or fuel.

This of course just added to the yo-yo effect of my weight and eating.
When I started following RTP I had immediate success and it confirmed for me what I had always felt.
Normal food portions were too much for me. I am not a normal size person so it makes sense but way too much advise of what a portion is, very one size fits all. So I would follow these plans to the letter and end up gaining weight. Great reinforcement for my battle with food.

As my success grew with RTP so did my relationship with food. I now allowed myself to eat. No battle of wills over right or wrong.
Just fuel.
I was very strict with myself for those first 90 days.
For me that was a great learning curve. I got it. I realized I need to fuel my body and indulge occasionally and I learned what indulged meant.

In the weeks that followed I loosened or changed the way I was eating. I feel that was an error.
Now I have gone back to accounting exactly what I am eating, weighing and measureing and being sure.
I become more aware daily of the nutrition I am giving myself. Fuel, good fuel.
It is bizarre the disconnect between brain and body. Its like we think we can treat ourselves one way and our bodies will simply continue to perform. Well if we are lucky they will.
But I am chosing to look for peak performance.
Maybe its that I am enough older than the rest of you to realize or hear that tick tick tick. What I do now affects the quality of my life soon, very soon.
So how does this relate to living it daily and making the meld between real life and being on a program?
Intent.  I eat off program and will continue to. I will not restrict myself that much and say no to a drink or dinner out.
The difference is I now do it with intent. Leigh Peele says go ahead and cheat but weigh it and count it...ouch.
So eat the chocolate bar or cereal. But first look at the label and be aware of what you are doing. Look, acknowledge and if its worth it then eat it. With intent.
What will this do. I think it will prevent extreme overeating. I suspect that at times you will reconsider that indulgence. I also believe that if you chose to eat it you will stop there. And that is the most important part of it. Stopping.
We have all experienced this. We cheat, go off the deep end and then.....we continue. We feel bad because we engaged in mindless eating so we beat ourselves up and continue on to do more damage both physically and emotionally.
Now when I eat or drimk with intent there is no dive off the hi board. there is a beginning and an end.