Next

“Disdain all disbelief! Work out a system within your mind that allows you to imagine yourself living a prosperous life, with all the material things that are necessary. Send scarcity out of your mind and refuse to have those kinds of thoughts. When an old habitual scarcity thought begins to enter your consciousness, simply say, ‘Next!’”

 Realizing that  my thinking has become from thoughts of scarcity I have been focusing on changing it.
As much as I was great at "hearing" and identifying the turning it around was a struggle.
My good friend Jace has told me numerous times that I did not have to break it down but I just did not get it.
I would "hear" it but then drag myself back into the place it evolved from by over thinking it.
When I listened to PN yesterday Dyers comment about "next" simply made sense.
My search had been for a way to let it go. Having a trigger to do this is the solution for me.
Today started with a trying episode that I simply wished to move past. My over active brain kept trying to loop through my thoughts but every time it appeared I simply said to myself "Next". Not allowing these thoughts any time to take root is the key.
Its sounds so very simple but without this tool I had no way of shutting it down.
This is a huge step forward for me. Shutting down those negative tapes that I seemed to like to play endlessly is like a dream..
I love success!!

Habits and Miep Gies

Todays Note was 7 Habits.
Like many I had read this book when it first appeared. It was considered the bible of business in those days and if you read, you owned it. Its timeless and applies today as it did then.
From todays note I grasped 2 things.
The first one was on integrity. Miep Gies died yesterday and if anyones actions and words define integrity it is this woman. Small wonder she lived to 100. Some one that humble and talk about pro active. An amazing woman. At 90 she was holding on line chats.
The second for me was the 4-quadrant and thoughts on time management.
I strive for structure to keep me on track when the depression becomes its worst. The step I had been missing was prioritizing. Its funny how we become so focused on the doing that we forget the importance of the why.
I postponed my blogging etc this morning till I had taken care of some crucial business matters.
Yes my workouts and other items are of great importance but without the money these would quickly become the least of my worries.
Focusing on the focus, truly essential in our thought processes.

The 4 agreements

On this the first day of our 50 day challenge we began with The 4 Agreements.

I am still fighting my way to the surface, my depression is lingering and this book though simple in context resonates with me.
His concept of 100% and that it means different things is a lesson I am working on accepting.
One of the largest byproducts of Bipolar is the little voice that comes to play.
When you are manic you are invincible and can do no wrong. When depressed you are simply totally useless and can do no right.
Ruiz's definition of what being empecable means along with 100% are a gentle reminder that the voices are not correct.
That voice is the  "domesticated child's voice", one that was domesticated with negativity, criticism and cruelty. It has no meaning or power for me now, today. Depression lures me into forgetting that.

. Being impeccable is not going against yourself. When you are impeccable, you take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself.”

The other big reminder for me was on defining 100%..

 “Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good.

In my Communit-E group we have been discussing this concept lately. That 100% today will be different than yesterday and tomorrow. That we can only work at being our best and that it changes on any given day.
A good reminder for me today as well.

I went to bed last night with hopeful intentions for the coming day.
I had assumed the Depression would have lifted ( ha).
So I did not do the things I had promised myself.  This reminder of what doing your best truly means comes at a good time.
I will remind that little voice gently that I am doing my best, giving 100%. Today is today and no negative chatter in the world will ever fix that.

“Nobody abuses us more than we abuse ourselves.”

~ Don Miguel Ruiz

So I will do what I can today. Send that tortured child back to sleep with words of kindness and focus on the now peacefully.

Slip sliding away...........

Tell signs, funny they are always the same but it takes a few days or a conversation or event for me to notice them.
All part of the coping I guess.
Until we see it we cannot fix it.
I have seen this  all week but things are going so well its hard to believe depression has set in.
I suspect a part of me still can not accept  that this is my life. That I will always be susceptible and must keep that guard up.
I realize that my relationship with depression is the longest one I have ever sustained. Well depression sustained it. Hmmm maybe thats not true. I should not give it such power.
The point about my relationship is that its gone on so long that I forget its not supposed to be here anymore.
Like that friend you had a bad break up with and you see them on the street and you think Hey, and then suddenly remember they are not really your friend.
One of the most difficult aspect of BP is that it does just this. Sneaks in and then wham suddenly has you on the ground.
The big tell for me this week is my inability to get out of bed in a timely manner.
I was wiped after Yoga last night as opposed to energized. Now I recognize why.
Its about recognizing  that it is not tired I feel but depression.
OK this whole thought process is depressing me. So now I simply turn it around.
I see it, I change it.
Tiring but manageable. I must accept this and not fight it.
Fighting the depression is enough of a battle. No need to create a second one.

SELF-MASTERY

Interesting lesson today. No big earth shattering moments but for a me a reminder or reinforcement of how I desire to live.
One of the biggest things I find myself doing these days is correcting my language.

Negative speak seems to sneak its way in there if you are not extremely vigilant.
I find myself correcting what I write and turning the phrase and words into the positive now thought process. Easy to do when you are writing, a bit more difficult as you speak.

Throwing my knapsack over the wall

“Once I had committed myself to the path, I discovered an unexpected form of magic. A field of grace seems to form around us when we commit ourselves to something that satisfies our souls. Invisible pathways open up through the universe. We meet people who are on a similar path, and we are given forms of assistance that seem like magic. All these things happened as I opened myself to discovering who I was and what my true purpose in life was.”

I know the official challenge does not start for a few days and that we will be going over this material again but no matter. I have committed myself to this and the magic just keeps coming at me. You couldn't pay me to stop.

Seeing yourself as a victim

I am amazed and love the way listening to others perspectives, makes me see my own.

In Big mind, big Heart they remind us of this. E Tolle hits on it as well.
What's terrific about listening to 100 authors is, that its likely at least one of their perspectives will resonate with you and give you the words that help it make sense to you.

Because the only perspective you can change is your own.

A perfect Day

Truly it was.
The morning began with the first of our Philosophers Notes challenge. Jace and I are listening to 1 podcast daily.
The plan is over breakfast so that you start the day with a new thought.
Interesting today was a New Earth.I have the book downloaded and had planned on a chapter a day so it was auspicious that we began there.
I came to the realization that what I have been unhappy with is not my life but the way I live it.

2010

Today began slowly. The one thing I have finally learned is to relax and take advantage of down time.
There was nothing that needed doing today and anything I had planned was later on.
I really wanted to start my 365/yoga today. I was concerned that allowing my arm to stop me would have repercussions down the road.