Now..a revelation

I get today what is different and what I have been doing.
Some months ago Lillian and I discussed living in the now.
More to the point that I was not and had not been for some time.
Something happened on the NY trip and my brain is still trying to sort it.
Likely it was being around grounded people who love in the now. Total immersion in Normal.
I don't think many realize the total isolation in which I have lived. Part of the isolation is simply in my mind as I have daily interaction but these were not taking place in the now.
I realize that sounds confusing but today it makes my life make sense,
No matter what I have been physically doing I have been mentally removed from it.
Really a big aha moment.
It was in everything I do.
I did not get my office settled because I might not be staying, I would not spend the money in case I did not make more.
It goes on and on.
Until:
I lost weight, made money,met someone,took a trip..................
The point is everything in my mind was on hold.
So even when I was doing it I was removed from it.
I was aware that I thought this way on some things, I had no sense that I did it with everything.
No time to finish this now but its the key.
c

Day 5: Paradigm Shift

Its all good. Scale is still moving. I know that this week will be a bit more dramatic but it is certainly getting me through the early days which are the hardest.
Mind you, given how I feel maybe it does not matter. I am in the right mindset and simply need to stay there.
Today was spent on internet and business. Lots of time wasted but it will sort itself out.
I have decided not to go away in August  and  wait.
I have to find my cruise certificate this week. If we can do BVI or any carribean destination then thats what I will do. Then Whistler FF in Dec and Miami in March. I will leave any late Dec/early Jan plans and maybe do a last minute one if I can find something. Hopefully Dana will be fully employed and looking for a short get away.
I love resolution.
I am coming to terms that I am a planner. If I don't its just too difficult for me.
The odd thing in that is I have always resisted plans.
I really am a study in making life as difficult as possible.
I feel I have experienced a Paradigm shift returning from NY. likely as a result of the week in NY.
Have I mentioned how fortunate it is to have such great friends?
I need to prep tonight and get my workouts started.
Hope every one has a great week

Day 4 Why did these seem so difficult?

Amazing what a shift in thinking does.
Here I am on Day 4 and not any bit of a struggle.
I so do not get why I get so wrapped up in food. As Rachel likes to say, its not an Emergency!
When we were in NY, Dana spoke about defining herself as some one who does not eat bagels.
The point is that how we define ourselves is how we act.
Since returning home I have been pondering that and reinforcing it in my thinking.