Accountability and Depression

My depression is a funny thing. Not funny in an amusing way, funny in a odd way.
I have been very consistent with my workouts and with my Sad as well.
But lately I have been struggling. Missing a workout here and there and having internal dialogue about it.
Not good.
Because I have been managing so well it seems peculiar to me that depression could be manifesting itself.
I must remind myself that I manage my depression, it is never cured.
The difference seems minor but is not and it is a dangerous conclusion to allow myself.
So I fnd myself in a place of standing back and looking at the fact that the aura of depression is in fact lurking there in the background.
Vigilance is key. Its quite interesting as it is difficult to know if I am feeling a bit lazy or if it something else.
The reality is I must just stay with what I do and force myself through the days. It is only the beginning of the fall and already there it is....sigh
But the good thing is I see it and I have a solution.
Life is not perfect and managing Bipolar without drugs is a bit of a challenge.
The fact we all need to see in our lives is that most people live with some sort of a challenge.
So for me I must simply rise to the occasion.
The enemy lives within and I can deal with that.
I have acquired great skills and even greater friends, ones that will get me through this.
So I will not breeze through the winter months, Ok we know that now so that is a good thing.
There is a big difference between vigilance and crashing.

Forward I go. More aware of some of what has been stopping me from being my best. It has a name and I will fight it everyday.

Forward motion, its all good.