Throwing my knapsack over the wall

“Once I had committed myself to the path, I discovered an unexpected form of magic. A field of grace seems to form around us when we commit ourselves to something that satisfies our souls. Invisible pathways open up through the universe. We meet people who are on a similar path, and we are given forms of assistance that seem like magic. All these things happened as I opened myself to discovering who I was and what my true purpose in life was.”

I know the official challenge does not start for a few days and that we will be going over this material again but no matter. I have committed myself to this and the magic just keeps coming at me. You couldn't pay me to stop.

""Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative and creation. There is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans; that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen events, meetings and material assistance which no one could have dreamed would have come their way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now!””

My inability to let go of the fear and the past has kept me from commitment. The only time I have commited was during a manic episode and of course the resulting crash would bring that to a resounding full stop.

Having gained clarity of mind by learning the correct coping mechanism to keep the depression at bay is finally allowing me to commit. When I read the above quotes and really all of this lesson, every section had me stopping and going Yes, so true I get that.

When my mind cleared so I could see the affect depression had and could comprehend that it was the past
causing me fear, not reality I began to do just this. Make commitments.


In the 2 weeks since that paradigm shift in my thinking and my quest to be present my life truly does seem to be filled with magic and I find myself surrounded by new and interesting people daily.

Every day brings another follower on twitter which leads me to investigate their world and perspective.

Once I dropped my own fear I was able to accept that others have opinions different from mine or are at a different level of their journey and no matter their interaction with me, it does not affect me.

The ugly defense mode does not take residence in my Bipolar brain and force me to listen to the never ending and relentless track of why I am right and the other person/issue not.

Its quiet up there these days and when its not it only takes a moment to to bring peace to the house.
Being Bipolar is exhausting and I have been exhausted. No more. The relief is palatable and I am sure of the path I am on.

If you live with an unquiet mind, fear and anxiety I wish you peace of mind.
 I never understood what that meant before today.
Namaste