Slip sliding away...........

Tell signs, funny they are always the same but it takes a few days or a conversation or event for me to notice them.
All part of the coping I guess.
Until we see it we cannot fix it.
I have seen this  all week but things are going so well its hard to believe depression has set in.
I suspect a part of me still can not accept  that this is my life. That I will always be susceptible and must keep that guard up.
I realize that my relationship with depression is the longest one I have ever sustained. Well depression sustained it. Hmmm maybe thats not true. I should not give it such power.
The point about my relationship is that its gone on so long that I forget its not supposed to be here anymore.
Like that friend you had a bad break up with and you see them on the street and you think Hey, and then suddenly remember they are not really your friend.
One of the most difficult aspect of BP is that it does just this. Sneaks in and then wham suddenly has you on the ground.
The big tell for me this week is my inability to get out of bed in a timely manner.
I was wiped after Yoga last night as opposed to energized. Now I recognize why.
Its about recognizing  that it is not tired I feel but depression.
OK this whole thought process is depressing me. So now I simply turn it around.
I see it, I change it.
Tiring but manageable. I must accept this and not fight it.
Fighting the depression is enough of a battle. No need to create a second one.